Friday, 26 August 2011

• 2004 - 2011: A Blogging Tale

  

  It was 2004...those dark, treacherous days when the mighty empire of Xangaland began to lose some in its army to the upstart fleet known as MySpace.  Later, MySpace itself became a weakened behemoth, forced to alter its empirical strategy with hopes of surviving.  And lo, somehow, it seemed to...even as its own weakened flesh bled, Golgotha in the 21st century.  The blood of its many minions provided suckle for the Twilight of a growing menace beyond the horizon, Facebook.  Our own hero even counted himself among the throngs that fled battered and beaten Xangaland.

  As Facebook became stronger and faster, it became stupid, revealing all the secrets it had gained through the blood of former Xanglandians and MySpacians.  Some turned away after these revelations, and began seeking sustenance in other empires.  Posterous, a tiny island fleet, gleamed small in the great sea, as Tumblr positioned itself as a place pretty much for GIFs and Helvetica-fonted photos.  Blogspot, the Switzerland of social blogging, somehow retained its distant seat of power, though nobody really talked about it anymore.  Wordpress shined its castle walls and netted the flotsam and jetsam from its moats, but its citizens rarely spoke to one another. 

  As the chrome-plated flags of Google+ began flapping in the breeze, and everyone looked to it as the next Superpower, some displaced citizens responded with cries of "Meh..." and the would-be empire was dubbed by one journalist as "not the next Facebook, so much as the next LiveJournal." 

  Your hero, tired of the gluttonous, fatuous parades in Facebook, fled the kingdom one night, leaving only a few small traces of his presence so as not to arouse suspicioun.  He looked toward the dark, overgrown path toward Xangaland.  Camping a few nights, he debated which direction to take.  He peered over the hill toward Google+, but almost just as immediately decided it was too new and lacked basic infrastructure.  He debated returning defeated to Facebook, or burning his hut there down and faking his own demise to all the Facebookers.

  Finally, he decided to return to the place he was born, Xangaland...by way of its Hong Kong colony, BlackHK.  He camped there for roughly a month and a half, making merry with many, drinking and partaking in duels and challenges aplenty.  After he was sure he had indeed found his true home, he set sail for the now-smaller, but just as lovely, paths he had tread as a young man in the early-to-mid 2000s.  With maps and magickal spells from Dan and Eugenia, two old Xangaland's Old Court of royalty, he returned to his street - named in his honor - JustJase lane. 

  Wow, this place really needs cleaning, he thought, gazing up on the dusty, overgrown place.  Making his way inside, he found a cracked, dirty mirror, and smiled.  "Welcome home."

  After restoring the place to its former glory, he invited all his friends from Xangaland over for a welcome home party.

  Come, won't you?

  

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